How can an intelligent human being not figure out how to?:

  • Get out of debt
  • Get a job
  • Have energy
  • Have hope
  • Have the desire to even go on
Asking for a friend

O’ hell! OK, no BS I guess. Not asking for a friend, how does a hard working not so intelligent individual figure the same things out? Proven personal fact. Take someone who used to take charge, feel intelligent, be a leader, take chances, trust humans, have hope in humanity and have a realistic hopeful attitude in life. Then beat that person down, reject all job interviews, hell even have a career/life coach blow them off, have co-workers remind them how bad they are, have bosses remind them how inadequate they are, have everyone tell them they are not trusted (even tough they are honest to a fault and have never lied or betrayed anyone) and guess what. That person honestly starts feeling like they are bad, they are inadequate, they are untrustworthy and they will forever be unemployed and unable to contribute to society.

Once someone reaches that point in their life, in their later years in life. How does one move on from that? I don’t want to feel sorry for myself (but at times I do), I don’t want to give up hope (but I have), I don’t want to feel negative about myself (but I feel I’ve become a whiney little bitch).

Maybe the secret is to speak with convicts who have served time and put their lives back together. Maybe that is where I need to research and learn. I have and am currently serving an eight year stint in oblivion, AKA failing at life. Organisms on this planet from a single cell up thrive at life on this planet, so why can’t I?

I’m at a loss. I’m obviously very stupid, to be in an 8 year failure rate. At some point in time I need to find a boot strap or I should just throw in the towel. But how does one determine it’s time to throw in the towel and pull the plug on their life? What is the criteria for such a decision? The point has been reached something needs to be done. Enough of this bullshit.

I need to figure it out now!!! or just stop this bullshit now!! 223 days ago I set a deadline to figure it out or to end it all. I now have

I fear I’m not going to make it, but my bigger fear is I will not commit if I don’t